Reading Notes Week 10 Part A Fyodor Dostoyevsky

I thought it was kind of ironic how Dostoyevsky started out "Notes from Underground" (pages 635 - 708) with "I am a sick man." It seems to set up a story of sickness and despair. As Dostoyevsky writes on, the narrator says that even though he is sick, he doesn't want to go to the doctors, perhaps because he doesn't like going (obviously) and maybe because he doesn't want to hear if anything is horribly wrong with him. It also seems, in an undercover way, that he doesn't really want anyone else to know he's sick either. If this is true, it could be for many reasons, including he doesn't want sympathy or pity from others, and that he doesn't want friends and family to go overboard with what to do/what not to do. Throughout the story, it definitely feels like the narrator has gone (or still going through) a lot of suffering and pain. I often wondered if he was depressed, and if so, if writing things down was therapeutic for him. I wonder what would help make him happier, if there were anything at all to do so. I thought this story was interesting to read (even though it was quite long).